If you let me, I’ll love you. I won’t care how you look, how you dress, how smart you are. I’ll love you for your imperfections. I’ll love you no matter what. I’ll love you despite all of the little flaws you see in yourself. I won’t see them. I’ll be by your side when you need me. If you let me, I’ll love you for what I see in you, not what you see in yourself. I won’t care if you don’t think you’re “cool”; I’ll think you’re cool. If you’re nice, if you treat me well, if you don’t hurt me, if you don’t hurt anyone else, if you have a beautiful personality, I promise that I’ll love you with all my heart. I have so much love in my heart and if you let me, I can give it to you. I won’t judge you, I will treat you right, I will respect you. I’ll love you if you let me.
Yesterday, you asked me a question. I did not get a chance to answer.
You asked me how I think you would feel if I hurt myself, or killed myself.
I don’t really know. I think you would be shocked, surprised, maybe sad. I think you might regret not taking me seriously when I told you about how I felt. But I honestly think you would be, at least a little, relieved. I feel like I put so much weight on your shoulders without even trying to. I don’t mean to, but I worry you too much, and that’s not fair. If I was gone, you wouldn’t have to deal with me.
Undoubtedly, today you did something awesome, something that you could not have done with me.
I hold you back way too much,
Our falling apart is my fault.
Maybe it’s that I expect too much from you,
More than you can give me.
Again, this is my fault.
You’re better off, you have always been,
Better off without me.
Holding you back,
I need to set you free.
I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you.
I’m sorry for what I put you through.
I’m sorry for my continuous efforts,
I’m sorry for trying so hard.
I’m sorry for thinking this would all be okay.
I’m sorry for making you feel the same way.
I’m sorry for trusting you.
I’m sorry for relying on you.
I’m sorry for all that I have done wrong.
I’ll let you go,
You can be with whoever you want.
You can come back to me.
But I don’t think you will.
And I hope you don’t.
It’s better this way,
Because I know if you do return,
I’ll have to do this again,
And it hurts me so much.
I will never bother you again.
We can be acquaintances.
I can find a new friend.
I’m sorry if this seems like I’m abandoning you,
Because I’m not.
I’m setting you free to find a better best friend,
Someone who isn’t as crazy as me,
Someone who trusts you more,
Someone who is more, dare I say, normal.
Someone who takes risks and doesn’t have to be pushed to do so.
Someone who is more interesting, someone who makes you laugh more, someone who is amazing.
You’ll find that person,
You’ll understand why I’m doing this.
You’ll understand, and you’ll be happy I did.
This is not for me.
This is for you.
I will never bother you again.
I don’t really know how to handle this.
Every time I think I’m over it, I get deeper in.
The panic creeps in, nests in the most sensitive parts of my heart.
The visions, the pain, they move into my mind.
I can’t breathe, my stomach hurts.
I don’t know how to take the pain away.
Because the person who is causing me so much pain,
Is the one who I go to when I feel it,
The one I know I can trust,
But now I don’t know if I can.
Because I’m not as important anymore.
- Lightweight – Demi Lovato
- Fallin’ For You – Colbie Callat
- Fences – Phoenix
- Cherbourg – Beirut
- Unsaid – The Fray
- Better Than I Know Myself – Adam Lambert
- Steal Your Heart – Augustana
- The Fighter – The Fray
- Twenty Years – Augustana
- Haunted – Taylor Swift
Don’t tell me this is all in my head.
Don’t put the fault on me.
Recognize that you are part of it too.
Recognize that you could be hurting me.
I guess, sometimes, the world works just the way you want it to.
But you can’t help thinking that there is a catch, somewhere.
It can’t be this good.
I will not be such a fool as to be blind to what is right in front of me.
